The pit.

Possibly the hardest thing I find myself dealing with is this pit of despair that crops up uninvited. Nothing has to cause it to appear, sometimes it feels like it is just reminding me that it is always near.
And when it does...
I feel like a ghost of myself. I feel like I don't exist, or as if I never had. I find myself fighting tears for grief that should not exist. I am consumed by this burning, aching... it's everything and nothing all at once.
It feels like I am covered in a heavy black blanket, and I am running out of air.